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So it's been a long time since I've posted, but I'm feeling led to share my heart right now.

In my last post, I mentioned that I was hoping to move to Nicaragua in the beginning months of 2013. Well, in typical God-style, my plans have changed!

You see, I felt that that was the right thing to do, but as things progressed, plans weren't going like they should have to begin the process of moving. People weren't responding back to me from missions organizations, and it all seemed like it was just being too rushed. That's when I sat back and prayed, and just felt that maybe it wasn't time for me to be jumping into this.

As I evaluated myself, my life, and the work that I am doing now, I realized one critical thing. All that I really want to do is be a mom. Simple as that. I want to love and care for children who are severely and multiply impaired. I can't explain the feeling that I get when I think about the possibility of just being a mom. It gives me unexplained joy and happiness. Most of all, peace.

I also realized something else. I can't leave Dulci Jean. She's just so special to me, and I believe with every ounce in me that the Lord brought us together for a reason.  We met at Special Needs Week in 2009. I was her volunteer, and that's when it all began! I fell in love with her that week, and it was the first SNW that I honestly did not want to leave and be done with my camper. Well, long story short, I was finally able to start working with her in February 2011. I was scared to death at first. I had never taken care of a severely and multiply impaired child, and it came with a lot of learning, but it did not take long to fall in love with Dulci and the Genzink family!

She has done incredible things for my relationship with God. She has taught me to love without ceasing, and has showed me a motherly-type of love that I didn't know I was capable of. She has taught me intense compassion with her smiles and goofy attitude. The amount of love that I feel for her is just crazy, and I can't imagine how God must feel when He looks down on us, His children, because I know that He is capable of SO MUCH MORE love than I am capable of having for Dulci. It just boggles my mind.

I thank God for my love-oriented relationships with Dulci (as well as Racheal, Megan, Christian, and Sara) She will always have a very special place in my heart because of the ways that God has used her to shape me. And they say that these kids are worthless!

Basically, I feel that my role in God's Kingdom is here for now. I know that God will use my passion for overseas missions somehow, because after all, He is the one who gave it to me. I can see adoption of a severely multiply impaired child(ren) in my future, and that excites me so much. I would take one or two or three of them right now if I could!

So for now I'm taking it day by day, choosing joy (which isn't hard when I have such a blessed life that I'm living!!), and plugging through classes at Moody Bible Institute (online). I couldn't ask for a better life, and I know that I am so undeserving of all of these blessings!

Thanks for reading!!

Much love,
Rachel