I'm new to this whole blog thing, but I thought this would be a good idea to share my thoughts with people, and to update on what's going on regarding my plans for the fall and just life in general. So here goes.
So there's this song by Matt Papa called "Open Hands" Here's a little piece of the chorus:
"I lift my hands open wide, let the whole world see,
how you love, how you died, how you set me free,
free at last, I surrender all I am, with open hands."
This pretty much describes my life to a T right now, and has inspired the name of my blog.
As many of you know, I am planning on going to Nicaragua for 4 months starting in August. I will be working with special needs children down there as a special education classroom assistant. I know that these situations can change with conditions of the country, but for right now, I'm planning on it. This is why this song is so special to me. I've felt called to go into Special Education ever since I was a little girl. Megan has inspired me so much throughout my life, which is why I give so much of my time to working with special needs individuals. I love how they enjoy the simple things in life, things that we are often too busy to notice, or just don't appreciate.
Well, I still know that special education is my calling, but I also have a passion for missions. God kind of 'slapped me in the face' with it last summer when I was having doubts about special education teaching. I wasn't sure if teaching was where I should be. All of a sudden, I had this ridiculous passion for missions. I can't even explain it. It was so out of the blue and it kind of scared me at first. I ignored the longing for a little while, then I started to really consider making it a part of my life. But then there was a problem. How was I going to merge special education with missions? I'm not sure where this will lead me in terms of what I study in college, and how much I decide to focus on each aspect, but I know that right now is my time to serve those overseas with special needs. It's a little scary, because most kids my age will be heading off to college, while I travel all by myself to a foreign country. This is where the song comes in.
"To give unselfishly, to love the least of these...Jesus I'm learning how to live with open hands"
Learning is such a great word here. I'm simply learning right now. The concept of being away from home for 4 months, and living in a completely different culture scares me. But, I'm learning how to give my life unselfishly, and "to love the least of these" I think that, once I'm down there, it won't be so hard. Yes, I'll still be learning, but I'll have a whole new perspective on love and living unselfishly. You see, we're so selfish here. We don't always like to admit it, but we are. Have you ever thought about how much food you waste? Throwing away something because it's 1 day past the expiration date? Kids in Nicaragua, or any other poor country, would be so thankful to have that food, and here we are, taking that simple blessing of having food in our houses for granted. It's things like this that God is teaching me. I'm learning to be thankful for the things that I have, not to be selfish, and to love no matter what, especially when it's hard.
For now, learning is good. But, I can't wait to get down to Nicaragua and put my learning into real life situations. I can't wait to show the love of Christ to kids who are otherwise considered 'odd' or 'unwanted'. I can't wait to see what God has in store for me in Nicaragua, because I'm sure it's a lot more than what I'm aware of right now. I can't wait for Him to show me how to live with my hands even more open than they are now, because I know living with totally open hands will glorify Him, and what else do I need to do besides that?
