It's official folks! I'm leaving Chicago for Managua, Nicaragua on Monday, August 30! :)
I will be returning on the 22nd of December...and my dad reminds me that this is now less than 25 weeks away. Nice.
Now comes the time where I freak out. My emotions are all over the place. One minute I'm scared to death of going to a foreign country all by myself, the next minute I'm incredibly excited for what God has in store for me, and the next I'm wondering what in the world God was thinking when He first instilled a passion for missions in my heart. You get the point. I'm emotional, some would argue to the point of insanity. But, I think this is where God wants me. I'm scared of totally trusting in Him, but know that this is the only way that I will be successful in the ultimate mission-bringing His love to the people of the world without holding back.
Here's another thing I'm scared of-falling completely in love with missions. Yes, I've already started falling in love with missions, particularly in the area of ministering to those with special needs. The fact that I have absolutely no idea what total reliance on God means is scary to me. I feel like I'm hanging on to Him with all I have within me right now, but know that's not true. I'm holding back more than I'd like to admit. I'm sure that this will become very evident as I follow His call to the mission field. God is preparing my heart, though. I'm so unbelievably excited to see what God is going to do through me when I get to Nicaragua, and am praying that He will give me the confirmation I need, no matter what that is. As long as I'm doing what He wants, and doing it in His time, then I have to trust that everything will work out. It's not about what I want, it's about what He wants! I want to want a lot of the "normal" things in life right now-college, relationships, etc-but living a life that glorifies God is so much more important, and a lot more rewarding in the end, no matter how crazy the rest of the world thinks I am.
The Lord is changing my heart. Enough said.
Prayer Requests:
-That God will reveal His will to me clearly
-That I won't experience much homesickness/culture shock
-Safe travels
Thanks! I am so thankful for and love each and every one of you! :)
Love,
Rachel
