As most of you probably know, I returned to Nicaragua for a 10-day visit over Thanksgiving. In the weeks prior to leaving, I felt that I was getting ready to go home. This was such an exciting feeling, yet so scary, because, well, I think you all know what that entails. I didn't share this feeling with anyone, because I didn't want to be held to these feelings if I ended up feeling differently once I was in Nicaragua.
I am sharing this with you now, because I did not have any different feelings while I was there. I truly felt that I was home. I absolutely love the Latin American culture, the language, the sweet (and incredibly understanding and patient as I attempted conversing with many of them) people, and of course the climate! :)
I feel like the Lord is preparing my heart and my life to move to Latin America, and I would like to do so in the beginning of 2013. I know that so much can change in a year, but I feel peace with this decision right now. Of course, Nicaragua is where I hope to be, but there are so many unknowns and blurry details about that possibility, as I want to work with severely impaired children in a "mom" role. I could be content in any Latin American country, just because I fell most in love with the culture. Of course Nicaragua will always be my first love, and you know what they say, "You never forget your first love".
It's hard having this feeling, because each day I fall more and more in love with Dulci & Racheal. I know that leaving them is going to be so hard, and I know that I could never do it on my own. I believe that God will give me the grace to say "goodbye", or rather "see you later", if that be His will. I don't really want to think about that right now, as this is still a year (at least) away.
Instead, I'm choosing to live in the moment, loving and serving Him where He has me now, and as long as He chooses to keep me here. All for Him!
So much easier said than done, right? Yes. I struggle with this A LOT...it's probably a struggle that is high on a lot of people's lists, because as humans, we just want to be in control and know all the answers. But God is faithful, everlasting, and our hope and joy for the life to come. So Praise Him now, love Him now, and share the Hope of His life, resurrection, and return now!
There is so much more I could share, but I feel that this can be an awkward way of conveying my feelings and excitement in this journey that the Lord has put me on...and you would probably stop reading due to length... :) Ask me anything, anytime. I love sharing what God is doing in my life!
