Here I am, a high school graduate. An alumni of Byron Center Charter. Is it weird? Well, yes, of course it is. School is all I've ever known. Knowing that I'm not obligated to go back to school is strange. Is it everything I thought it would be? Yes, but much more emotional than I ever imagined. Next week, one of my closest friends that I've known since I was five is leaving for Virginia, and it's kind of a reality check, a slap in the face, if you will. We're grown up-adults-going into the big, bad world as individuals, doing whatever we feel passionate for. It's so strange, and with it comes a whole bunch of emotions.
Lately I've been struggling with all of these emotions which have overcome me since the end of high school. All of my friends are going off to college somewhere to pursue their passions, and here I am, leaving for 4 months to a country that I know very little about. I'm having doubts, fears, trouble sleeping, and most of all, the realization that it's coming sooner than I'd like (to be completely honest).
What do I do when these feelings come? Well, I realize that I'm leaning on God more than I ever thought possible, and know that I will do a ton more leaning on Him while I'm down there. I also know that the doubts and fears about myself that I'm having are not godly at all. They are of the devil. He's trying to convince me that Nicaragua is not where I'm supposed to be, and that I won't be good at it. Then, I remember that God laid this on my heart for a reason. The full reason I'm not sure of yet, but I definitely know that I will be blessed at the very least. God has been so good to me. It's hard to imagine myself going to a foreign country with foreign customs, language, and culture. But, I know that if I go fully relying on God, I will not be let down. Yes, there will still be times of fear, pain, and homesickness, but God will get me through it.
I'm clinging to God with all I have in me.
