Don't Get Comfortable!

Hey there!

So, there have been so many changes going on in my life right now, and I realized it's been almost 3 months since I've posted! Crazy!

The first big thing is the fact that I am moved out of my parent's house, which I love! I love living independently- I was so ready! It's also so nice to be closer to Dulci, Racheal, and Sara, as well as my new church home.

Another big change-which was totally unexpected-is that fact that I now have a man in my life. I know, shock right? :) His name is Matt (if you got this link off of facebook, you probably already know that!)
So many people have been asking how we met, and well, it's a little strange, but crazy how God is working through our lives together. I was bored one night, was on craigslist, seeing if there was anyone selling the last book of the Bailey Flannigan series by Karen Kingsbury and noticed the personals section (yep, craigslist! ;)). I thought "Hey, what the heck, I'll just browse around...I've got nothing better to do!" I had no intentions of sending an email to anyone, but then, I came across Matt's post. He was upfront about his faith, which made me excited because, well, you know the society that we live in...not many men, especially in my generation, are very willing to put themselves out there in that way. I was so encouraged by it, that I thought "You know what? What do I have to lose?". So I sent an email (exactly what I told myself I would never do), had a minor moment of panic after I hit send, wondering what in the world I had just done.

Well, the next day, I opened my email, and there was a response...and one thing led to another, and on July 5 we met in person, and the rest is history! I am so excited and encouraged by the time that we spend together, and love that we are able to grow our relationship in God together.

I am including this because it seems that around the time that I met Matt was a time when my thoughts and feelings were all over the board! All of you know that I have an intense passion for working with severely impaired individuals. This is something that happened to me when I started working with Dulci, and my love for this population continues to grow each and every time I see one of their beautiful smiles.

I have decided that I am going to become a member of Vriesland Reformed Church, one of the main reasons being that they are church that is on fire about ministry and outreach, and the worship is so genuine and the presence of God is so real-I always leave smiling because I feel like God is sitting right next to me. Well, to join the church, one typically has to go through a Profession of Faith class. Even though I have already made Profession of Faith, I decided to go through it again as a reaffirmation. In the second week with Pastor Wilson, he challenged me to think about what God might be calling me to partner with Him in right now-not 30 years from now, when I'm a little older, have a degree or am married, but right now. 


I left feeling scared and excited because I knew exactly what it was that He was calling me to do. I have felt this passion for a number of months now, but have chosen to leave it on the back burner. My desire is to start a special needs ministry in the greater Holland area-for those who are severely and multiply impaired. There are so many resources and opportunities for special needs individuals who are higher functioning, but rarely is there an opportunity for children with severe and profound impairments that is geared just for them. My dream is to have a respite type program, biblically based, existing to show the love of Christ to these often forgotten children/adults, and just to be their friends! I can't imagine a better thing to do with my life right now.

This also led to another huge decision, which was, "How in the world can I possibly start a ministry? I am working full time (and then some), going to school, am now in a relationship, and sometimes I actually do need to sleep!" and "Seriously, I was just starting to get comfortable with my schedule and how life was going, and now this, God, really?" --funny how God works, huh?? :)

Well, I prayed about it, and felt that now is a time to take a break from school. While the degree program I was in was called "Ministry Leadership", my heart was not in school, and it is not where my passion is right now. My passion is to be the hands and feet of Jesus, to get in there and change diapers, wipe drool, tube-feed, and hold, sing, and cuddle with these precious children of God.

Once I (and some other people in my life) had convinced myself of this (didn't take much), I dropped my classes and am on an indefinite break from school. I have no idea when, or if, I will go back. I'm just SO excited about this ministry opportunity!

Things are obviously in the beginning stages, and I am just praying that God will lead people who have a passion to serve, in some form, in the beginning of this ministry that is very dear to my heart.
I have no idea what it will look like exactly, but I'm trusting that God, in all His faithfulness and love, will direct my steps.

The main reason I write this is to ask for prayer, because it is so powerful!
I would ask that you pray for peace in my mind and heart as I start down this exciting and scary road, for people to step forward in faith with me in this ministry, and mostly for the children/adults that I will eventually encounter on a regular basis-that their hearts and minds would be open to the love of Jesus Christ (I firmly believe that they understand so much more than anyone gives them credit for!). I would also ask for prayer for the families of these children-that this will be a blessing to them, and that I can be a vessel for Christ in my relationships with the families.

I know, that was an incredibly long post, and I could write for hours, but this will have to do...if you have any questions about any of it, feel more than free to shoot me a message via facebook, or comment on here!


I know that the Lord has incredible plans for my life, even though I can't necessarily see them right now, and I am certain that He will use this ministry for amazing things!


Thanks for reading, and I pray many blessings upon your life!

Love,
Rachel

Untitled

So it's been a long time since I've posted, but I'm feeling led to share my heart right now.

In my last post, I mentioned that I was hoping to move to Nicaragua in the beginning months of 2013. Well, in typical God-style, my plans have changed!

You see, I felt that that was the right thing to do, but as things progressed, plans weren't going like they should have to begin the process of moving. People weren't responding back to me from missions organizations, and it all seemed like it was just being too rushed. That's when I sat back and prayed, and just felt that maybe it wasn't time for me to be jumping into this.

As I evaluated myself, my life, and the work that I am doing now, I realized one critical thing. All that I really want to do is be a mom. Simple as that. I want to love and care for children who are severely and multiply impaired. I can't explain the feeling that I get when I think about the possibility of just being a mom. It gives me unexplained joy and happiness. Most of all, peace.

I also realized something else. I can't leave Dulci Jean. She's just so special to me, and I believe with every ounce in me that the Lord brought us together for a reason.  We met at Special Needs Week in 2009. I was her volunteer, and that's when it all began! I fell in love with her that week, and it was the first SNW that I honestly did not want to leave and be done with my camper. Well, long story short, I was finally able to start working with her in February 2011. I was scared to death at first. I had never taken care of a severely and multiply impaired child, and it came with a lot of learning, but it did not take long to fall in love with Dulci and the Genzink family!

She has done incredible things for my relationship with God. She has taught me to love without ceasing, and has showed me a motherly-type of love that I didn't know I was capable of. She has taught me intense compassion with her smiles and goofy attitude. The amount of love that I feel for her is just crazy, and I can't imagine how God must feel when He looks down on us, His children, because I know that He is capable of SO MUCH MORE love than I am capable of having for Dulci. It just boggles my mind.

I thank God for my love-oriented relationships with Dulci (as well as Racheal, Megan, Christian, and Sara) She will always have a very special place in my heart because of the ways that God has used her to shape me. And they say that these kids are worthless!

Basically, I feel that my role in God's Kingdom is here for now. I know that God will use my passion for overseas missions somehow, because after all, He is the one who gave it to me. I can see adoption of a severely multiply impaired child(ren) in my future, and that excites me so much. I would take one or two or three of them right now if I could!

So for now I'm taking it day by day, choosing joy (which isn't hard when I have such a blessed life that I'm living!!), and plugging through classes at Moody Bible Institute (online). I couldn't ask for a better life, and I know that I am so undeserving of all of these blessings!

Thanks for reading!!

Much love,
Rachel

There is NOTHING Like Your Love

I'm really at a loss for words. God is so good, faithful, and loving...ALWAYS, and I have felt His presence in my life so evidently lately. I can't imagine how people get through life without this incredible peace and comfort that I'm experiencing right now.

As most of you probably know, I returned to Nicaragua for a 10-day visit over Thanksgiving. In the weeks prior to leaving, I felt that I was getting ready to go home. This was such an exciting feeling, yet so scary, because, well, I think you all know what that entails. I didn't share this feeling with anyone, because I didn't want to be held to these feelings if I ended up feeling differently once I was in Nicaragua.

I am sharing this with you now, because I did not have any different feelings while I was there. I truly felt that I was home. I absolutely love the Latin American culture, the language, the sweet (and incredibly understanding and patient as I attempted conversing with many of them) people, and of course the climate! :)

I feel like the Lord is preparing my heart and my life to move to Latin America, and I would like to do so in the beginning of 2013. I know that so much can change in a year, but I feel peace with this decision right now. Of course, Nicaragua is where I hope to be, but there are so many unknowns and blurry details about that possibility, as I want to work with severely impaired children in a "mom" role. I could be content in any Latin American country, just because I fell most in love with the culture. Of course Nicaragua will always be my first love, and you know what they say, "You never forget your first love".

It's hard having this feeling, because each day I fall more and more in love with Dulci & Racheal. I know that leaving them is going to be so hard, and I know that I could never do it on my own. I believe that God will give me the grace to say "goodbye", or rather "see you later", if that be His will. I don't really want to think about that right now, as this is still a year (at least) away.

Instead, I'm choosing to live in the moment, loving and serving Him where He has me now, and as long as He chooses to keep me here. All for Him!

So much easier said than done, right? Yes. I struggle with this A LOT...it's probably a struggle that is high on a lot of people's lists, because as humans, we just want to be in control and know all the answers. But God is faithful, everlasting, and our hope and joy for the life to come. So Praise Him now, love Him now, and share the Hope of His life, resurrection, and return now!

There is so much more I could share, but I feel that this can be an awkward way of conveying my feelings and excitement in this journey that the Lord has put me on...and you would probably stop reading due to length... :) Ask me anything, anytime. I love sharing what God is doing in my life!

More of Him, less of me

Sometimes I just get into a mode where I need to write, for my sanity, and to get my feelings out...well at least the feelings that I want people to know :)

You'll remember in my last post that I talked about a girl named Racheal that I met through a series of God-orchestrated events. I'm so happy to say that I'm now working with her! Though my time has been a little chopped up due to surgery, I'm so glad that everything worked out!

In the last week, I've had another job (actually, a paid internship) fall right into my lap. It seems that this is where the Lord wants me right now!

It's so interesting how all of this happens. In the past few weeks, I've been really emotional (privately) about wanting to leave the country and just help special needs children who are way less fortunate. It's been tearing me apart, and has been causing a major distraction in my schoolwork.

The truth is, even though all of these opportunities are really exciting and right up my alley, with each confirmation that I get that right now I'm supposed to be ministering here, my heart gets a little bit more sad, and I want to jump on a plane a little bit more.

With each day, I feel more and more dependent on God to let my heart be here-fully here-and to give more and more of myself to what I'm doing here. Truthfully? It feels like I'm slowly dying sometimes (well, I am, but you know what I mean...). It feels painful, my heart is in pain, and I find myself begging God to send me to another country.

Then I think of the girls I work with, and how much I am absolutely in love with them and their goofy personalities, and don't want to leave them. Yet there's an overpowering sense of calling to bring that same love and joy to children around the world.

But alas, I am here. I know that the Lord has a lot to teach me, and I think He's keeping me here, in part (because honestly, who knows all of the reasons to everything that God does?), to teach me to give ALL of my love, ALL of my heart, and ALL of my strength to what I'm doing here. I need to learn to be content with that for now.

I'm also learning so much about the body of Christ and bond of believers through the classes that I'm taking through Moody Bible Institute (online). I've never met any of these people, yet we pray for each other, 'fellowship' with each other, and rejoice in our accomplishments. I feel such a connection to these classmates. It's incredible, really.

I know that the Lord is continuing to prepare my heart for ministry, wherever that may be (and whenever He may choose to move me, if He chooses to move me). I find myself believing that I will eventually be leaving the country to minister to special needs children sometime in the future, because I know that this passion to reach the lost is from Him. I'm hoping, praying.

Until then, I will continue to give more of myself than I thought possible, love with His divine love, and share His name through my actions. More of HIM, less of me. More of Him, less of me.

Peace.

I often feel like I'm in high school again.

People asking me (seems like constantly), "What's next?"

In the past few weeks, I have felt like there is a major tug of war going on inside of me.

It was painful, really.

As many of you know, I have a strong desire to move overseas. A longing to love on 'the least of these'. I also have fallen so in love with Dulci, the girl that I work with, that I was really struggling.

Struggling to the point of tears and frustration. I didn't understand why God would give me a passion for children around the world, and then let me be in Dulci's life, only to be totally in love with her.

I began to pray desperately for an answer, a 'slap in the face', if you will. I just asked God to show me where I need to be right now. I only wanted some sort of confirmation of where I was supposed to be so that this literal pain in my body would go away.

About a week later, I started to see His work very evidently. Dulci's family camps, so I've been with them at the campground they stay at. One night, after I had left, Von (Dulci's mom) went to show some friends around, and noticed a girl in a wheelchair who looks similar to Dulci.

The next day when I got there, she told me about it, and just said, "I felt like I needed to tell you that." She told me the spot where they walked from, and mentioned that maybe Dulci could have a new friend. So I took Dulci for a walk and decided to go there.

I debated going up there, just because it was gravel and really bumpy (and Dulci kept sliding over in her chair). But I did.

When we got almost to the end of that part of the campground, 4 really little kids came up to Dulci and started saying "hi!" and "what's your name?". I figured that these kids must know this girl that Von was talking about, because they were so comfortable with Dulci.

Eventually the mom came out and started talking to Dulci and to me, and told me about her friend that was out there the previous day, whose name is Racheal (ironic?).

She told me a little about their family and how they've been praying for a loving caregiver to come along and take care of their daughter.

This girl said "I think you may be it! They've been praying so desperately, and here you came, walking down the road!"

She proceeded to take my name and phone number, and very enthusiastically went and called her friend to tell her!

Later that afternoon, her mom called me and told me a little about their family and Racheal, and in talking, we realized that the schedule would work pretty perfect with the hours I'm working with Dulci right now.
She also said she never wanted me to feel torn between Racheal and Dulci (thank goodness!).

Von & I were SO excited that afternoon about how it all had happened.

I mean, think about it. She never had to tell me that she saw another special needs child at the campground. I didn't have to take the walk down the long bumpy road. If the children hadn't come out and said hi to Dulci, I may have never even met their mother and talked about Racheal.

It's times like these where I get even more excited about serving the Lord. He was so evident to me that day, and as humans, I think we all need tangible reminders that He really is there and listens to us.

I have to admit, a part of me was disappointed that moving overseas isn't where I'm supposed to be right now, but the larger part of me is excited to see where He takes me with this new family, and continues to take me as I work with Dulci & Megan!

I know that this fall will be busy. I'm also going to be attending Moody Bible Institute through their distance learning program (at least for this year).

I've had many people ask me about this ; "Are you sure you can do that?"

While the 'job' (which is really so much more than a job, it's a passion) of working with two girls that require total care may be physically tiring, I always leave with my spirits lifted. Everything seems a little bit easier. I can't recall a time where I haven't left the Genzink's house with a smile on my face because of my growing love for Dulci, or the cute little smiles and giggles she'll give me, or just because the happiness of their family is contagious.

I'm very excited to see what this fall brings. I feel confident that here, with Dulci, Megan, and soon Racheal is where I'm supposed to be for right now. My heart is so content, and so full of love for these precious girls!

May He be glorified in all that we do, and He will be faithful to those who wait on Him!

Love,
Rachel

Haiti Trip 2011

I've been getting many, many questions about how my trip to Haiti was, so here's a somewhat detailed rundown of my trip to Port au Prince, Haiti (April 30-May14, 2011)

On Saturday, April 30, I left Grand Rapids with one of my team members, Ryan, to go to Port au Prince. Later in the day, when we got to Miami, we met our other team member, Bill. We arrived in Haiti around 4 o'clock in the afternoon. I must say, the Port au Prince airport (at least for incoming flights) was a little bit of a shock to me. I guess I unknowingly had higher expectations because of how nice the airport in Managua (Nicaragua) was. It was a bit chaotic, and everything went fairly smooth until we got outside. As soon as we stepped outside, there were many porters waiting, and wanting to take our bags. We just had to push through them and keep saying "No, no merci". Well, it ended up that one clever porter had copied our team leaders sign that read "Sous Espwa" (the ministry we worked with), and wanted our money. There were many people outside the gate of the airport begging for money, and I guess I was a little bit numb to it all. I wasn't feeling very well from the flight down, so I wasn't completely aware of what was going on around me. Our team leader, Ana, brought us to the Sous Espwa Ministry Center (owned by the Christian Reformed Church of Haiti-ECRH), and we pretty much just ate dinner and crashed for the night.

On Sunday, we went to a Christian Reformed church in Port au Prince. It was all in Creole, of course, but it was a very interesting service. It's always been a good experience for me to worship in another culture, even if I can't speak the language. It's a reminder that our God is not just in the United States, but He is living and active all around the world. After church, we met with some of the church leaders so that they could tell us more about their church, and some of their future hopes for a new building and location. They're in the process of raising money to buy land. The space that they're in now is being loaned to them, and it's not very big for their growing congregation.
We then went out for lunch with Ana and another CRWRC missionary, Kristie, who also gave us a tour of Port au Prince. I didn't really know what to expect driving around Port au Prince, especially since I hadn't been there before the earthquake. The devastation and destruction was shocking. I think that something that was even more shocking to me was all the tent cities. There are tents in pretty much every space that used to be open. There are 500,000 people still in tents, a lot of them too scared to go back to their homes, even if they've been deemed safe to live in again. Since the earthquake, and as a direct result of all the people living in tents, the percentage of sexual violence and rape has gone up pretty dramatically. There really is not security in a tent. While I was in Port au Prince, a 16 year old girl died because of her injuries from being raped. It really put things in perspective-how blessed am I to have a house that has locks on the doors? It's all because I was born in the U.S. It really hasn't been because of anything that I myself have done. It's something that I, and my team members, really came to terms with during the first few days. Something to think about.
On Monday, we went to Leogan with another group that was staying at the ministry center from Lakeside CRC (Alto, MI). Leogan is where the epicenter of the earthquake was, and is where CRWRC has their disaster relief site. We were able to do some home visits to some of the beneficiaries of their core house building project, and that was a blessing. It's so great to hear the personal testimonies of faith that these young families have. It was a very enjoyable day, and a favorite for all of us.
For the rest of the week, we did cement work. It was hard work, let me tell you. It was a completely new concept to me, which was a little frustrating at times, but it was a very good experience. They don't have any cement trucks there, and we were working on the second floor, so we had to haul sand, gravel, cement, and water up to the second floor. In the sun. HOT. And SWEATY. Wow. But, despite the constant wiping away of sweat, I felt like it was a positive experience to be able to work alongside a Haitian team. They are very hardworking and nice people, and it was good to be able to help them.
On Saturday (May 7), my team members both left, and I was picked up by the Tlucek's. They are missionaries from Idaho who have been in Port au Prince for 5 1/2 years working with Heartline Ministries, and have recently started a preschool program (2-5 years old) in their home. They have 5 adopted children (4 of which are Haitian) and a few other Haitian teenage boys living with them. There were a lot of boys, way more than I'm used to coming from a house with only 3 girls. It seemed like there was always something crazy going on, but it a lot of fun! They also have an 8 month old baby girl living with them, so you bet I had some nice baby bonding time! :)
Since January, they have added 15 children to their program, and they hadn't done any evaluations on them, so I worked on those for most of the week. It was testing things like fine motor skills, social skills, academic skills, etc. It was a lot of fun, and the kids were so much fun to work with!! I also got to hang out with the 2 year olds for a couple of days, and they are just so precious!! Some of their stories are so sad, and I could feel my heart breaking. I feel so blessed to have had the life that I have, and to be able to share Jesus with these little jewels!
It was such a positive experience. I could write many stories here, but my post is already pretty long.
I'm really excited to update soon about some developments that are happening concerning the "what's next?" question...but some of that is still hanging in the balance, and I'm playing the waiting game for a little while yet, but I'll let you know when I know! :)
For now, I'm sort of in love with the girl that I'm working with (and my sister, whom I also work with), and really enjoying loving my work! :) I feel so blessed to be able to say that.
I appreciate all the prayers that are still being said on my behalf!
Love,
Rachel

Worship

This is a topic that has been on my heart for the past couple of months, so here you go.

The Christian life is all about worship. It can be in many different forms. When you hear the word worship, you probably automatically think about music. Most people do.

But, worship is also in prayer, studying His Word, and in simply living life. God has called us, His chosen people, to live a life pleasing and glorifying to Him.

Considering what's at stake, we should want to do anything for our Lord and Savior, who shed His blood as a sacrifice not only for our sins as one person, but for the sins of the entire world!

Can you imagine? Sending your only son to earth, only to sacrifice him for the sins of humans? I, for one, don't think I'll ever understand the amount of love that took.

Then, Jesus proceeded to rise from the grave. Think about it. There's nothing more final than death. Yet our Savior conquered the grave! He is living and active in our lives!

Most of us will read this, think about it for awhile, and then the awesome feeling of being loved-truly loved-will go away.

We will go on with our daily lives, letting ourselves get stressed out and worked up about the things happening in our lives.

We'll go to church on Sunday, feel good for an hour, and the cycle repeats. Even at church, where we come together as believers, saved by the same loving and powerful God, we will hold back.

The feeling of being loved and cared for by the Creator of the entire universe should never go away! We should want to sing and dance for joy, because the Powerful One has chosen us to fall deeply in love with and know everything about. And not only us (as individuals), but every single person who has lived, is living, and will live on this earth!

Take a second to absorb that. He loves us-truly loves us! He cares for us, and He always will!

This life is not about us. God made the world, He made us, and gave us life. Most importantly, He gave us life in Him. He made us so we could praise Him and share His name, and bring it to the ends of the earth.

There are so many people who haven't had the opportunity to hear the gospel. So many people who need to know that there is someone who loves them, because they feel hopeless. They feel lost. They feel unloved.
No one deserves to feel that way.

Before Christ, we were the same as them. Hopeless. Lost. We felt unloved.

So, here's a challenge for you. Live your life as an offering to God. Show His love and kindness to everyone you meet.
Show the world how great of a God we serve by like like Him!

Live worship. Love worship. Serve Him.