Open Hands....Together

I just want to share this news for the sake of all you prayer warriors out there.
I guess, though, I first off want to thank everyone for all of the love, support, and congratulations as Matt and I have begun our lives together! We are enjoying married life very much and have already learned a lot and look forward to spending the rest of our lives together as husband and wife :)

For the sake of a quick update, Matt and I are planning on staying around here for awhile now. We have both felt in these last couple of weeks that we are rushing things and have felt a still small voice saying "slow down". After much prayer and many long conversations, we both feel at peace with putting the application process with mission organizations on hold for awhile.

I also have been feeling a strong sense of calling back to the ministry I started working on over a year ago now, and more specifically to serve the siblings of special needs children. I am hoping to, in January or February, be able to start a once-a-month get together for siblings, so that I can serve and use my passion and experience while the logistics of a respite ministry are being worked out.

I am SO excited and each day have more and more of a passion for this ministry. Don't get us wrong, though, we are still so willing. Maybe someday down the road, God will give us a little "go ahead, you're ready now". For now, though, we are content staying here and using our gifts to cater to the needs that are still evident in the U.S..

Matt also got a new job at Gerber in Fremont, which is very exciting for us! All in all, there has been a lot of good things happening with us, and although it is sometimes hard to keep God at the center when we are so excited about our "plans" (psh....like those ever all happen anyways. I love that God has a sense of humor, and you'd think that we would have learned by now to totally surrender, right?)!

This song is the one that inspired the name of this blog, and to this day, brings me to tears every time I hear it. This describes perfectly what Matt and I have learned to do together, which, by the way, is very different than doing alone (but beautiful and humbling). We hope this song touches you :)

Again, we are excited to share this news, and love all of you for the prayers, support, and love that you have shown us!

Love & Prayers,
Matt & Rachel

Big News! :)

Hello all!
Matt and I have some big news that we would like to share with you now that things are moving forward with it a bit.

We have recently (2ish months ago) decided to seriously pursue moving overseas to do missions work. We both feel that we do not want to be comfortable, and would like to use the gifts that God has given us to minister to those who haven't had the chance to hear the Gospel, or help in the process of acceptance.

As of right now, we have no idea what country we want to go to-that is one thing that we are indifferent on. We just know that we want to reach the unreached, and he would love to use his gift of teaching (science, math, etc) and do some one on one discipleship, and I would love to work with special needs children, specifically the severely multiply impaired and babies.

We have just sent in our first round of applications to Serving in Mission (SIM) based in North Carolina. If our applications check out, our next step would be to go to North Carolina for a 4-day interview that involves consulting with a whole bunch of different departments there to make sure that we are a good fit for SIM, and vice versa.

SIM was originally known as Sudan Interior Mission, and they initially went in to Sudan at a time when the world said that Sudan was "unreachable". Now, they have expanded across the borders of Sudan into the world, and do "a lot of different things with a lot of different people in a lot of different places". This is one thing that Matt and I love about SIM. They aren't an organization focused on one area of outreach (i.e. medical, education), but instead they respond to the needs that are encountered in country.

We are so excited about this next step in our lives--as God is bringing us together as one through marriage, and we know that God will use and bless us through each other if we keep Him at the center of our marriage.

Don't worry though, we aren't leaving September 22 :)
This would be, at the earliest, next fall.

The one thing that we can ask for now is prayers for peace and for discernment if things continue to go forward with SIM. This can be a very lengthy process, and if things go well, there will obviously be a big need for fundraising. We both feel  at peace about this right now, but I know from experience that that feeling often comes and goes.

Thanks for supporting Matt and I in our marriage, and what's to come afterwards! We love you all! :)

--Matt & Rachel

Season of Changes

Hey everyone!

I have had  a lot of people asking me about how the ministry is going, so I thought I would give an update. This is most definitely not the update I thought that I would be giving.

Basically, I am going to ask for some serious prayers for guidance for Matt and I as we move forward towards marriage, and as that involves this ministry. We are in a process of discerning what/where we are being called to next, and so this has left things kind of on hold for the time being.

I don't want to say too much, as no big decisions have been made, but we would really appreciate prayer support from you-our friends and family.

Please continue to pray for the ministry, and that it will develop in the timing and way that only God knows. I still have a heart for this population, and it's killing me to be on hold with it, but for now, I feel that this is what God has for us.

Thanks so much for all of your support of Matt & I, as well as of this ministry.

Blessings and much love,
Rachel

His Heart

Friends and Family, 

It has been awhile since I have updated this thing, and so much has been going on in my life, so I thought that I would let all of you in on the excitement! ;) 

As I said in my last post, I am working on starting a respite ministry for severely and multiply impaired children/adults. My church has been an incredible support to me as I journey on this new and scary path. 

I am beginning to understand why not a lot of people have gone down the road to start a ministry for severely and multiply impaired individuals. It is hard, and it will be a long and sticky battle to finally get what I  desire and believe that God is leading me to do--to have official 501(c)3 status. The liability insurance will be the biggest battle, as it is expensive and because of the nature of the children that I will be serving. 

Nevertheless, I refuse to lose heart and give up. Right now, I am in the beginning stages of applying for non-profit status, which means that I need to put together a board of directors. I never imagined myself in this position--being an executive director of a ministry. The good Lord knows that I am not business-minded in any way, so that's one quality I am looking for in a few of the board members, as well as people who are passionate and willing to put one foot in front of the other, no matter how fast or slow the pace ends up being. 

Right now, I am asking for prayers above all (for my sanity, and for willingness to listen and follow God's call/will--however fast this ministry may happen). I tend to be a "jump on it" person, meaning that right now I would really just like to fast forward through all the legal stuff and just be able to love on the kids. But, that is not really a possibility right now, so prayers for patience would be welcomed! 

If anyone reading this has any advice whatsoever on the process of becoming a 501(c)3 or knows of anyone business-minded (or a tax lawyer), that would all be welcomed as well! 

Thanks for listening, and I assure you that I will do my very best to keep all of you updated as I embark on this exciting journey!! 

Blessings, 

Rachel 

Don't Get Comfortable!

Hey there!

So, there have been so many changes going on in my life right now, and I realized it's been almost 3 months since I've posted! Crazy!

The first big thing is the fact that I am moved out of my parent's house, which I love! I love living independently- I was so ready! It's also so nice to be closer to Dulci, Racheal, and Sara, as well as my new church home.

Another big change-which was totally unexpected-is that fact that I now have a man in my life. I know, shock right? :) His name is Matt (if you got this link off of facebook, you probably already know that!)
So many people have been asking how we met, and well, it's a little strange, but crazy how God is working through our lives together. I was bored one night, was on craigslist, seeing if there was anyone selling the last book of the Bailey Flannigan series by Karen Kingsbury and noticed the personals section (yep, craigslist! ;)). I thought "Hey, what the heck, I'll just browse around...I've got nothing better to do!" I had no intentions of sending an email to anyone, but then, I came across Matt's post. He was upfront about his faith, which made me excited because, well, you know the society that we live in...not many men, especially in my generation, are very willing to put themselves out there in that way. I was so encouraged by it, that I thought "You know what? What do I have to lose?". So I sent an email (exactly what I told myself I would never do), had a minor moment of panic after I hit send, wondering what in the world I had just done.

Well, the next day, I opened my email, and there was a response...and one thing led to another, and on July 5 we met in person, and the rest is history! I am so excited and encouraged by the time that we spend together, and love that we are able to grow our relationship in God together.

I am including this because it seems that around the time that I met Matt was a time when my thoughts and feelings were all over the board! All of you know that I have an intense passion for working with severely impaired individuals. This is something that happened to me when I started working with Dulci, and my love for this population continues to grow each and every time I see one of their beautiful smiles.

I have decided that I am going to become a member of Vriesland Reformed Church, one of the main reasons being that they are church that is on fire about ministry and outreach, and the worship is so genuine and the presence of God is so real-I always leave smiling because I feel like God is sitting right next to me. Well, to join the church, one typically has to go through a Profession of Faith class. Even though I have already made Profession of Faith, I decided to go through it again as a reaffirmation. In the second week with Pastor Wilson, he challenged me to think about what God might be calling me to partner with Him in right now-not 30 years from now, when I'm a little older, have a degree or am married, but right now. 


I left feeling scared and excited because I knew exactly what it was that He was calling me to do. I have felt this passion for a number of months now, but have chosen to leave it on the back burner. My desire is to start a special needs ministry in the greater Holland area-for those who are severely and multiply impaired. There are so many resources and opportunities for special needs individuals who are higher functioning, but rarely is there an opportunity for children with severe and profound impairments that is geared just for them. My dream is to have a respite type program, biblically based, existing to show the love of Christ to these often forgotten children/adults, and just to be their friends! I can't imagine a better thing to do with my life right now.

This also led to another huge decision, which was, "How in the world can I possibly start a ministry? I am working full time (and then some), going to school, am now in a relationship, and sometimes I actually do need to sleep!" and "Seriously, I was just starting to get comfortable with my schedule and how life was going, and now this, God, really?" --funny how God works, huh?? :)

Well, I prayed about it, and felt that now is a time to take a break from school. While the degree program I was in was called "Ministry Leadership", my heart was not in school, and it is not where my passion is right now. My passion is to be the hands and feet of Jesus, to get in there and change diapers, wipe drool, tube-feed, and hold, sing, and cuddle with these precious children of God.

Once I (and some other people in my life) had convinced myself of this (didn't take much), I dropped my classes and am on an indefinite break from school. I have no idea when, or if, I will go back. I'm just SO excited about this ministry opportunity!

Things are obviously in the beginning stages, and I am just praying that God will lead people who have a passion to serve, in some form, in the beginning of this ministry that is very dear to my heart.
I have no idea what it will look like exactly, but I'm trusting that God, in all His faithfulness and love, will direct my steps.

The main reason I write this is to ask for prayer, because it is so powerful!
I would ask that you pray for peace in my mind and heart as I start down this exciting and scary road, for people to step forward in faith with me in this ministry, and mostly for the children/adults that I will eventually encounter on a regular basis-that their hearts and minds would be open to the love of Jesus Christ (I firmly believe that they understand so much more than anyone gives them credit for!). I would also ask for prayer for the families of these children-that this will be a blessing to them, and that I can be a vessel for Christ in my relationships with the families.

I know, that was an incredibly long post, and I could write for hours, but this will have to do...if you have any questions about any of it, feel more than free to shoot me a message via facebook, or comment on here!


I know that the Lord has incredible plans for my life, even though I can't necessarily see them right now, and I am certain that He will use this ministry for amazing things!


Thanks for reading, and I pray many blessings upon your life!

Love,
Rachel

Untitled

So it's been a long time since I've posted, but I'm feeling led to share my heart right now.

In my last post, I mentioned that I was hoping to move to Nicaragua in the beginning months of 2013. Well, in typical God-style, my plans have changed!

You see, I felt that that was the right thing to do, but as things progressed, plans weren't going like they should have to begin the process of moving. People weren't responding back to me from missions organizations, and it all seemed like it was just being too rushed. That's when I sat back and prayed, and just felt that maybe it wasn't time for me to be jumping into this.

As I evaluated myself, my life, and the work that I am doing now, I realized one critical thing. All that I really want to do is be a mom. Simple as that. I want to love and care for children who are severely and multiply impaired. I can't explain the feeling that I get when I think about the possibility of just being a mom. It gives me unexplained joy and happiness. Most of all, peace.

I also realized something else. I can't leave Dulci Jean. She's just so special to me, and I believe with every ounce in me that the Lord brought us together for a reason.  We met at Special Needs Week in 2009. I was her volunteer, and that's when it all began! I fell in love with her that week, and it was the first SNW that I honestly did not want to leave and be done with my camper. Well, long story short, I was finally able to start working with her in February 2011. I was scared to death at first. I had never taken care of a severely and multiply impaired child, and it came with a lot of learning, but it did not take long to fall in love with Dulci and the Genzink family!

She has done incredible things for my relationship with God. She has taught me to love without ceasing, and has showed me a motherly-type of love that I didn't know I was capable of. She has taught me intense compassion with her smiles and goofy attitude. The amount of love that I feel for her is just crazy, and I can't imagine how God must feel when He looks down on us, His children, because I know that He is capable of SO MUCH MORE love than I am capable of having for Dulci. It just boggles my mind.

I thank God for my love-oriented relationships with Dulci (as well as Racheal, Megan, Christian, and Sara) She will always have a very special place in my heart because of the ways that God has used her to shape me. And they say that these kids are worthless!

Basically, I feel that my role in God's Kingdom is here for now. I know that God will use my passion for overseas missions somehow, because after all, He is the one who gave it to me. I can see adoption of a severely multiply impaired child(ren) in my future, and that excites me so much. I would take one or two or three of them right now if I could!

So for now I'm taking it day by day, choosing joy (which isn't hard when I have such a blessed life that I'm living!!), and plugging through classes at Moody Bible Institute (online). I couldn't ask for a better life, and I know that I am so undeserving of all of these blessings!

Thanks for reading!!

Much love,
Rachel

There is NOTHING Like Your Love

I'm really at a loss for words. God is so good, faithful, and loving...ALWAYS, and I have felt His presence in my life so evidently lately. I can't imagine how people get through life without this incredible peace and comfort that I'm experiencing right now.

As most of you probably know, I returned to Nicaragua for a 10-day visit over Thanksgiving. In the weeks prior to leaving, I felt that I was getting ready to go home. This was such an exciting feeling, yet so scary, because, well, I think you all know what that entails. I didn't share this feeling with anyone, because I didn't want to be held to these feelings if I ended up feeling differently once I was in Nicaragua.

I am sharing this with you now, because I did not have any different feelings while I was there. I truly felt that I was home. I absolutely love the Latin American culture, the language, the sweet (and incredibly understanding and patient as I attempted conversing with many of them) people, and of course the climate! :)

I feel like the Lord is preparing my heart and my life to move to Latin America, and I would like to do so in the beginning of 2013. I know that so much can change in a year, but I feel peace with this decision right now. Of course, Nicaragua is where I hope to be, but there are so many unknowns and blurry details about that possibility, as I want to work with severely impaired children in a "mom" role. I could be content in any Latin American country, just because I fell most in love with the culture. Of course Nicaragua will always be my first love, and you know what they say, "You never forget your first love".

It's hard having this feeling, because each day I fall more and more in love with Dulci & Racheal. I know that leaving them is going to be so hard, and I know that I could never do it on my own. I believe that God will give me the grace to say "goodbye", or rather "see you later", if that be His will. I don't really want to think about that right now, as this is still a year (at least) away.

Instead, I'm choosing to live in the moment, loving and serving Him where He has me now, and as long as He chooses to keep me here. All for Him!

So much easier said than done, right? Yes. I struggle with this A LOT...it's probably a struggle that is high on a lot of people's lists, because as humans, we just want to be in control and know all the answers. But God is faithful, everlasting, and our hope and joy for the life to come. So Praise Him now, love Him now, and share the Hope of His life, resurrection, and return now!

There is so much more I could share, but I feel that this can be an awkward way of conveying my feelings and excitement in this journey that the Lord has put me on...and you would probably stop reading due to length... :) Ask me anything, anytime. I love sharing what God is doing in my life!

More of Him, less of me

Sometimes I just get into a mode where I need to write, for my sanity, and to get my feelings out...well at least the feelings that I want people to know :)

You'll remember in my last post that I talked about a girl named Racheal that I met through a series of God-orchestrated events. I'm so happy to say that I'm now working with her! Though my time has been a little chopped up due to surgery, I'm so glad that everything worked out!

In the last week, I've had another job (actually, a paid internship) fall right into my lap. It seems that this is where the Lord wants me right now!

It's so interesting how all of this happens. In the past few weeks, I've been really emotional (privately) about wanting to leave the country and just help special needs children who are way less fortunate. It's been tearing me apart, and has been causing a major distraction in my schoolwork.

The truth is, even though all of these opportunities are really exciting and right up my alley, with each confirmation that I get that right now I'm supposed to be ministering here, my heart gets a little bit more sad, and I want to jump on a plane a little bit more.

With each day, I feel more and more dependent on God to let my heart be here-fully here-and to give more and more of myself to what I'm doing here. Truthfully? It feels like I'm slowly dying sometimes (well, I am, but you know what I mean...). It feels painful, my heart is in pain, and I find myself begging God to send me to another country.

Then I think of the girls I work with, and how much I am absolutely in love with them and their goofy personalities, and don't want to leave them. Yet there's an overpowering sense of calling to bring that same love and joy to children around the world.

But alas, I am here. I know that the Lord has a lot to teach me, and I think He's keeping me here, in part (because honestly, who knows all of the reasons to everything that God does?), to teach me to give ALL of my love, ALL of my heart, and ALL of my strength to what I'm doing here. I need to learn to be content with that for now.

I'm also learning so much about the body of Christ and bond of believers through the classes that I'm taking through Moody Bible Institute (online). I've never met any of these people, yet we pray for each other, 'fellowship' with each other, and rejoice in our accomplishments. I feel such a connection to these classmates. It's incredible, really.

I know that the Lord is continuing to prepare my heart for ministry, wherever that may be (and whenever He may choose to move me, if He chooses to move me). I find myself believing that I will eventually be leaving the country to minister to special needs children sometime in the future, because I know that this passion to reach the lost is from Him. I'm hoping, praying.

Until then, I will continue to give more of myself than I thought possible, love with His divine love, and share His name through my actions. More of HIM, less of me. More of Him, less of me.

Peace.

I often feel like I'm in high school again.

People asking me (seems like constantly), "What's next?"

In the past few weeks, I have felt like there is a major tug of war going on inside of me.

It was painful, really.

As many of you know, I have a strong desire to move overseas. A longing to love on 'the least of these'. I also have fallen so in love with Dulci, the girl that I work with, that I was really struggling.

Struggling to the point of tears and frustration. I didn't understand why God would give me a passion for children around the world, and then let me be in Dulci's life, only to be totally in love with her.

I began to pray desperately for an answer, a 'slap in the face', if you will. I just asked God to show me where I need to be right now. I only wanted some sort of confirmation of where I was supposed to be so that this literal pain in my body would go away.

About a week later, I started to see His work very evidently. Dulci's family camps, so I've been with them at the campground they stay at. One night, after I had left, Von (Dulci's mom) went to show some friends around, and noticed a girl in a wheelchair who looks similar to Dulci.

The next day when I got there, she told me about it, and just said, "I felt like I needed to tell you that." She told me the spot where they walked from, and mentioned that maybe Dulci could have a new friend. So I took Dulci for a walk and decided to go there.

I debated going up there, just because it was gravel and really bumpy (and Dulci kept sliding over in her chair). But I did.

When we got almost to the end of that part of the campground, 4 really little kids came up to Dulci and started saying "hi!" and "what's your name?". I figured that these kids must know this girl that Von was talking about, because they were so comfortable with Dulci.

Eventually the mom came out and started talking to Dulci and to me, and told me about her friend that was out there the previous day, whose name is Racheal (ironic?).

She told me a little about their family and how they've been praying for a loving caregiver to come along and take care of their daughter.

This girl said "I think you may be it! They've been praying so desperately, and here you came, walking down the road!"

She proceeded to take my name and phone number, and very enthusiastically went and called her friend to tell her!

Later that afternoon, her mom called me and told me a little about their family and Racheal, and in talking, we realized that the schedule would work pretty perfect with the hours I'm working with Dulci right now.
She also said she never wanted me to feel torn between Racheal and Dulci (thank goodness!).

Von & I were SO excited that afternoon about how it all had happened.

I mean, think about it. She never had to tell me that she saw another special needs child at the campground. I didn't have to take the walk down the long bumpy road. If the children hadn't come out and said hi to Dulci, I may have never even met their mother and talked about Racheal.

It's times like these where I get even more excited about serving the Lord. He was so evident to me that day, and as humans, I think we all need tangible reminders that He really is there and listens to us.

I have to admit, a part of me was disappointed that moving overseas isn't where I'm supposed to be right now, but the larger part of me is excited to see where He takes me with this new family, and continues to take me as I work with Dulci & Megan!

I know that this fall will be busy. I'm also going to be attending Moody Bible Institute through their distance learning program (at least for this year).

I've had many people ask me about this ; "Are you sure you can do that?"

While the 'job' (which is really so much more than a job, it's a passion) of working with two girls that require total care may be physically tiring, I always leave with my spirits lifted. Everything seems a little bit easier. I can't recall a time where I haven't left the Genzink's house with a smile on my face because of my growing love for Dulci, or the cute little smiles and giggles she'll give me, or just because the happiness of their family is contagious.

I'm very excited to see what this fall brings. I feel confident that here, with Dulci, Megan, and soon Racheal is where I'm supposed to be for right now. My heart is so content, and so full of love for these precious girls!

May He be glorified in all that we do, and He will be faithful to those who wait on Him!

Love,
Rachel

Haiti Trip 2011

I've been getting many, many questions about how my trip to Haiti was, so here's a somewhat detailed rundown of my trip to Port au Prince, Haiti (April 30-May14, 2011)

On Saturday, April 30, I left Grand Rapids with one of my team members, Ryan, to go to Port au Prince. Later in the day, when we got to Miami, we met our other team member, Bill. We arrived in Haiti around 4 o'clock in the afternoon. I must say, the Port au Prince airport (at least for incoming flights) was a little bit of a shock to me. I guess I unknowingly had higher expectations because of how nice the airport in Managua (Nicaragua) was. It was a bit chaotic, and everything went fairly smooth until we got outside. As soon as we stepped outside, there were many porters waiting, and wanting to take our bags. We just had to push through them and keep saying "No, no merci". Well, it ended up that one clever porter had copied our team leaders sign that read "Sous Espwa" (the ministry we worked with), and wanted our money. There were many people outside the gate of the airport begging for money, and I guess I was a little bit numb to it all. I wasn't feeling very well from the flight down, so I wasn't completely aware of what was going on around me. Our team leader, Ana, brought us to the Sous Espwa Ministry Center (owned by the Christian Reformed Church of Haiti-ECRH), and we pretty much just ate dinner and crashed for the night.

On Sunday, we went to a Christian Reformed church in Port au Prince. It was all in Creole, of course, but it was a very interesting service. It's always been a good experience for me to worship in another culture, even if I can't speak the language. It's a reminder that our God is not just in the United States, but He is living and active all around the world. After church, we met with some of the church leaders so that they could tell us more about their church, and some of their future hopes for a new building and location. They're in the process of raising money to buy land. The space that they're in now is being loaned to them, and it's not very big for their growing congregation.
We then went out for lunch with Ana and another CRWRC missionary, Kristie, who also gave us a tour of Port au Prince. I didn't really know what to expect driving around Port au Prince, especially since I hadn't been there before the earthquake. The devastation and destruction was shocking. I think that something that was even more shocking to me was all the tent cities. There are tents in pretty much every space that used to be open. There are 500,000 people still in tents, a lot of them too scared to go back to their homes, even if they've been deemed safe to live in again. Since the earthquake, and as a direct result of all the people living in tents, the percentage of sexual violence and rape has gone up pretty dramatically. There really is not security in a tent. While I was in Port au Prince, a 16 year old girl died because of her injuries from being raped. It really put things in perspective-how blessed am I to have a house that has locks on the doors? It's all because I was born in the U.S. It really hasn't been because of anything that I myself have done. It's something that I, and my team members, really came to terms with during the first few days. Something to think about.
On Monday, we went to Leogan with another group that was staying at the ministry center from Lakeside CRC (Alto, MI). Leogan is where the epicenter of the earthquake was, and is where CRWRC has their disaster relief site. We were able to do some home visits to some of the beneficiaries of their core house building project, and that was a blessing. It's so great to hear the personal testimonies of faith that these young families have. It was a very enjoyable day, and a favorite for all of us.
For the rest of the week, we did cement work. It was hard work, let me tell you. It was a completely new concept to me, which was a little frustrating at times, but it was a very good experience. They don't have any cement trucks there, and we were working on the second floor, so we had to haul sand, gravel, cement, and water up to the second floor. In the sun. HOT. And SWEATY. Wow. But, despite the constant wiping away of sweat, I felt like it was a positive experience to be able to work alongside a Haitian team. They are very hardworking and nice people, and it was good to be able to help them.
On Saturday (May 7), my team members both left, and I was picked up by the Tlucek's. They are missionaries from Idaho who have been in Port au Prince for 5 1/2 years working with Heartline Ministries, and have recently started a preschool program (2-5 years old) in their home. They have 5 adopted children (4 of which are Haitian) and a few other Haitian teenage boys living with them. There were a lot of boys, way more than I'm used to coming from a house with only 3 girls. It seemed like there was always something crazy going on, but it a lot of fun! They also have an 8 month old baby girl living with them, so you bet I had some nice baby bonding time! :)
Since January, they have added 15 children to their program, and they hadn't done any evaluations on them, so I worked on those for most of the week. It was testing things like fine motor skills, social skills, academic skills, etc. It was a lot of fun, and the kids were so much fun to work with!! I also got to hang out with the 2 year olds for a couple of days, and they are just so precious!! Some of their stories are so sad, and I could feel my heart breaking. I feel so blessed to have had the life that I have, and to be able to share Jesus with these little jewels!
It was such a positive experience. I could write many stories here, but my post is already pretty long.
I'm really excited to update soon about some developments that are happening concerning the "what's next?" question...but some of that is still hanging in the balance, and I'm playing the waiting game for a little while yet, but I'll let you know when I know! :)
For now, I'm sort of in love with the girl that I'm working with (and my sister, whom I also work with), and really enjoying loving my work! :) I feel so blessed to be able to say that.
I appreciate all the prayers that are still being said on my behalf!
Love,
Rachel

Worship

This is a topic that has been on my heart for the past couple of months, so here you go.

The Christian life is all about worship. It can be in many different forms. When you hear the word worship, you probably automatically think about music. Most people do.

But, worship is also in prayer, studying His Word, and in simply living life. God has called us, His chosen people, to live a life pleasing and glorifying to Him.

Considering what's at stake, we should want to do anything for our Lord and Savior, who shed His blood as a sacrifice not only for our sins as one person, but for the sins of the entire world!

Can you imagine? Sending your only son to earth, only to sacrifice him for the sins of humans? I, for one, don't think I'll ever understand the amount of love that took.

Then, Jesus proceeded to rise from the grave. Think about it. There's nothing more final than death. Yet our Savior conquered the grave! He is living and active in our lives!

Most of us will read this, think about it for awhile, and then the awesome feeling of being loved-truly loved-will go away.

We will go on with our daily lives, letting ourselves get stressed out and worked up about the things happening in our lives.

We'll go to church on Sunday, feel good for an hour, and the cycle repeats. Even at church, where we come together as believers, saved by the same loving and powerful God, we will hold back.

The feeling of being loved and cared for by the Creator of the entire universe should never go away! We should want to sing and dance for joy, because the Powerful One has chosen us to fall deeply in love with and know everything about. And not only us (as individuals), but every single person who has lived, is living, and will live on this earth!

Take a second to absorb that. He loves us-truly loves us! He cares for us, and He always will!

This life is not about us. God made the world, He made us, and gave us life. Most importantly, He gave us life in Him. He made us so we could praise Him and share His name, and bring it to the ends of the earth.

There are so many people who haven't had the opportunity to hear the gospel. So many people who need to know that there is someone who loves them, because they feel hopeless. They feel lost. They feel unloved.
No one deserves to feel that way.

Before Christ, we were the same as them. Hopeless. Lost. We felt unloved.

So, here's a challenge for you. Live your life as an offering to God. Show His love and kindness to everyone you meet.
Show the world how great of a God we serve by like like Him!

Live worship. Love worship. Serve Him.

Prayers, please

I would appreciate prayers at this time in my life...a time of seeking the Lord's will, and what my next step should be...my life feels so full of big decisions right now as I feel completely different about my life than I did 6 months ago.
Thanks for the prayers.
Love you all!
Rachel

Being Home...

Being home has been really great. But, now I feel like I should be going back, like this was a Christmas break. Honestly, I miss it terribly. I find myself thinking about Nicaragua constantly, thinking about the kids, what I would be doing at certain times, and wanting to go back. I look at pictures with some of my favorite kids for minutes at a time.

I'm going to answer the question that everybody has been asking: What's next?
Immediately, I'm taking 2 classes at Kuyper, and working full time doing respite care. After this semester, I have no idea. Well, I have ideas, but we'll see what God shows me. :)
I'm taking this semester, each day, as it comes. It's something that's hard to do, but is really good for me.
Right now, I can see myself living, and want to live on the mission field someday. Where? I don't know. When? No idea. I just know that if it's part of God's plan, it will all happen in His time.
While it's hard to let it all go and give it to God, it's been totally worth it so far. He hasn't disappointed me, and I don't anticipate disappointment.

God is revealing Himself and His heart more and more to me each day, and for now, I'm enjoying it, and it's more than enough. I'm falling more and more in love with Him each day. :)

Thanks for all your prayers and words of encouragement!!
Love,
Rachel

HOME!!!

I am back in Michigan!!!
I made it safe and sound, with little problem!
Thanks everyone, for your prayers and thoughts over the last four months as I was serving Him in Nicaragua!!!

A Time to be Thankful

Well, it's been about a month since I've updated, so I thought that it was time! :)

I can hardly believe that I have less than a month here! I'm not counting down the time until I leave, but instead, the time until my parents arrive!! They'll be here on December 14, and I can hardly wait! I can honestly say that the past month has gone really fast. I've been staying pretty busy, especially the past few weekends, which really helps the time to go by fast.

My time at the school has also been going well. I am constantly frustrated with the language barrier, and try really hard to learn more, but it's so challenging. I'm basically learning by ear, which I don't do too well with. I understand quite a bit of what's being said, but talking to people is incredibly hard for me. I think that, if I was staying here longer, I would want to be in consistent Spanish classes so that I could continue to learn how to put sentences together better. I'm getting by just fine with what I know, but it's frustrating all the same.

The kids are so precious. Their smiles are contagious. I only have 2 full school weeks with them before their Christmas parties, and then I go home. I can honestly say that I have learned a lot, because special education is so much different here than it is in the States. Special Education, the way that it is in the States, is a blessing for sure! It's easy to complain about problems in a system that you're used to, but I don't feel like I have a right to complain about it anymore. It's a blessing to these kids that they get any kind of education at all. There are so many 'regular education' kids that don't get the opportunity to go to school, or want to go to school, so the fact that these kids have a place where their disabilities are addressed is amazing. So, in the spirit of the season, be thankful for school--even though it's hard sometimes! :)

Speaking of being thankful, this was my first Thanksgiving away from home, and I thought it would be a lot harder than it was. It was weird talking to my family about their plans, knowing that I wasn't included in them. But, I am so blessed that I have so many Americans around me that I could celebrate Thanksgiving with, not only once, but three times! The church that I go to, ICF (International Christian fellowship), had a big Thanksgiving dinner this past Sunday, which was delicious! We also had a time of giving thanks to God, and of course good fellowship. Then, on Wednesday, I had dinner with a friend and her family who is here visiting for Thanksgiving. Last night was also great...I had another traditional Thanksgiving meal with a few other missionary families. It was such a nice time of fellowship and playing games!

I feel so blessed that I had the opportunity, as a missionary, to celebrate this season of thanks with so many other Americans. I know that there are plenty of missionaries around the world that are in remote places and don't have the kind of options that I did for celebration.

For the sake of tradition, I'm going to share one thing that I am thankful for.
This Thanksgiving, I am especially thankful for God's promises that we, as His children, don't have to worry. I tend to worry constantly, and am incredibly anxious about a lot of decisions, and just my life in general. I am learning more and more that life is so much more enjoyable when I just give it all up to Him! I know, it sounds like something I should have known, right? Well, I did know it, but it takes an incredible amount of faith to actually do it! It's so scary, but at the same time very exciting!
I'm looking forward to seeing what the Lord has planned for me once I get back to the States-how my time here will shape my thinking and what my future holds.

I once again THANK YOU for all your prayers, love, and support! I would have never made it this far without them!

Love,
Rachel

Just an Update...

So I thought that it might be a good idea to update everyone on how I've been doing, and the work I've been doing at the school!

My time at the school is going well.
The school is split up into two sections. There's the school area (for the higher functioning kids) and the early intervention area (this is also where children who are severely impaired are). I've been spending the majority of my time in the school area. This is mostly due to the fact that the moms stay with the kids who are in the early intervention area, so it doesn't feel like there's as much that I can do to help there.
It's been going pretty well. It's very tricky and frustrating that I can't speak to the kids very well. I feel so lost on some days, because it's like I've completely lost my voice.
When the kids get there in the morning, they sing and do some sign language work. Then, they go to the class area and do crafts, homework, fine motor skill work, and things like flashcards to learn animals, flowers, etc. I just help out wherever I'm needed. They also have a computer program that they do dictations with.
A week ago, Jackie, another American who was working at the school, left after being there for one month. She is a professor at a college in Massachusetts and does Occupational Therapy/Physical Therapy. I really enjoyed having her there! It was really nice to speak English, and I really learned a lot from her!
I am now 'in charge' of doing a side lying board for kids who are severely impaired. Basically, most of these kids spend all of their time (literally!) on their backs, and some of them are developing severe scoliosis because of the positions that they are in all the time. This board is so that they get time to lay on their side, and while they're lying there, I do sensory stimulation. Some of the kids don't even realize what their hands can do...so I rub things with different textures over their hands, arms, and faces. It's interesting to see the different reactions based on the child!
Per Jackie's suggestion, we also started a store...which I am also in charge of! Basically, we went to the market and bought a bunch of trinkets that we're selling to the kids. They earn tickets based on their academic/behavioral performance over a week's time. Each ticket is worth 1 cordoba. They come to me with their tickets, and I give them the number of cordobas that corresponds with the tickets. They can then purchase things based on how much money they have. It's nice for them to have experience working with money, and get a reward for doing well on their school work! They love it too!
I just found out today that I will be working with a kid on Friday afternoons being his 'aide'. He's new to the program, and they aren't really sure what to do with him sometimes-his reactions to certain situations need to be re-directed. So, they're hoping that maybe having someone work one on one with him will help...so I'm going to give it a try, and have some ideas of what could be done to make both his experience, as well as the teachers', be better, especially since he only comes once a week!
That's pretty much what's been going on at the school. Outside of school, I've been hanging out with some other missionaries down here--trying to get connected! It's the one thing that's especially hard about living with a host family. I'm kind of disconnected from other Americans. I'm also hoping to take a general Bible class for the rest of my time here, so that I have something to occupy my nights, and it will definitely be good for me in many other ways!
Thanks SO much for the love and support! I SO appreciate it!
Love,
Rachel

A Mother's Love

You’ve all heard the analogies and the poems expressing the love that a mother has for her child. It’s true. The love that is shown by a mother to her children is inexpressible and true. I’ve always known that. I have a mother that shows that kind of forgiving love to me.
I've never seen a mother's love as amplified as I have seen it here. You know that children with special needs have a hard time in the States being accepted and loved by society, and sometimes, even their own families. All the mothers that I have met and observed here have a love for their child with special needs that melts my heart. It humbles me and amazes me.
They are so poor, some living in tiny houses made of scrap metal and wood, doing everything they can just to survive. Despite their circumstances, despite the trials that they face every day, they love their children, especially their child with special needs. It would be easy for them to hand them off to an orphanage, abandon them. Their lives are challenging, their stories heartbreaking, their children precious. Yet still they press on and love with all they are.
Like I said, we think that some children have it bad in the States, and some children do struggle in the States. Nothing compares to the struggles of a child with special needs here. It's drastic, real, and tragic. The mothers don't have lifts in their homes to move their child around the home, they don't have wheelchairs to get them around the neighborhood, they don't have handicap accessible vans, and they don't have houses considered adequate for occupying a person with special needs.
These mothers carry around their children everywhere, no matter how big they are. They have no choice. You should see some of the kids at the school. It's not that they're big-most of them are as thin as a rail. They are just long and with the way that their bodies are because of their disabilities, it's not always easy to pick them up and keep a good grasp on them. If you've ever worked with a person with a severe disability, such as severe Cerebral Palsy, you know what I'm talking about.
As I was talking to another person at the school today (who's American), we were discussing this very thing. How long are these mothers going to be able to do this? Their backs eventually aren't going to let them, and they're going to have severe problems when they keep lifting their children despite their pain. They do it despite their pain.
They love tirelessly, smile despite their circumstances, and what do I get out of it?
A challenge! What if I loved like that? No matter how much pain (physical or otherwise) it causes me, to love my enemies, and not only my enemies, but everyone around me.
When my body or my mind says "I can't take it anymore!", I press on and keep on loving!
So much easier said than done, but a good challenge none the less.

Thanks so much for reading...love you all!
Rachel

I Give You Control

I thought that it was probably time for an update, seeing as I've been living here for close to a month now.
I've been completely overwhelmed the last couple of weeks--first of all, at the faithfulness of God as I go through this transition, and second, at the support and love I have received from all of you back home!
This is a transition that has been really difficult for me. It's hard-and thrilling!-to be in a new culture where English is not the main language. I really struggle with Spanish, but I'm getting better at understanding what other people are saying. Here's the problem: I can't ever seem to come up with a response, I flounder. Ugh, it's so frustrating. Hopefully it will continue to get better though.
It's really hard to hold some of the kids at the school that can comprehend information not knowing what to say to them because they obviously only understand Spanish.
Today was fun, though. I sat with a little girl for probably 1/2 hour. We were alone, and I didn't really know what to say, so we just smiled and giggled at each other. :) This is the same little girl who came up to me on Monday and hugged my leg for 5 minutes just looking up at me and laughing. She's a cutie.
Mostly I've been overwhelmed at the poverty that's here. It's incredible, really. There are mothers here that have two children or more, and they're only 19 or 20 years old. I can't even begin to comprehend having 2 little ones running around when I don't even have enough money to support myself. It's sad, and something that can't be fully understood until you see it for yourself.
I just think about how incredibly blessed I am to live where I do in Nicaragua. There are houses that are made of wood and scrap metal all around, but I live in a house where there are separate rooms, and a roof that keeps the rain out-and it rains here, A LOT!
Then, I think about the conditions I am living in compared to the houses that I see in the States. First of all, there is no air conditioning here, and it's always 90 degrees or hotter. The electricity goes out at least once a day here. There are no dryers here...clothes are dried outside on a line. These are just a few examples of how blessed you all are in the States! I knew that I was blessed when I was living in Michigan, but, like I said, it's not a concept that can be fully grasped until you are thrown in the middle of an impoverished nation.
Last week, I went with a work team that was here from Ohio to do some house visits to a few of the kids that are in the program at Tesoros de Dios. The conditions that some of these children live in are so sad, and they have to care for a child with special needs in these conditions. It makes me think of my house and how blessed we are to be able to take care of Megan in such a nice house.
One of the children was in the hospital with pneumonia, so we went to the public hospital to go visit him. This was a major reality check for me. People do live like this, like I see in pictures. I need to see it firsthand to really believe it. I look at pictures and think, people don't really live like this, do they? Of course I know that they do, it's just that I'm so used to the comforts of the U.S. that I don't really take the time to think about how hard it must be.
There aren't any Butterworth Hospitals here. Private rooms? Unheard of (at least in the public hospitals...I can't speak for the private hospitals). The room that this little boy was in probably had 20-30 children's beds in it. There were no recliners or couches for the families to sit on-just one plastic chair so that the mother could be with the child. When I think about it, it makes me angry that we spend so much time planning/building hospitals and homes that are so luxurious and elaborate? Do we really need all those things? NO! It's so frustrating to me now that I've seen poverty firsthand.
But, the Lord is working in Nicaragua! I see Him in the beauty of the country, the beauty of the people, and the beauty of the children! It's amazing to think about when the people here have so little, yet they offer everything they have to the Lord. The church I go to on Saturday and Sunday nights is a really good example of this. The praise and worship is really cool, because the people there sing so loud. They don't care how loud they are, or if they might be off key, they just think about praising the Lord! Now, I think we can learn a thing or two from them! We often let self-consciousness and worry about whether we sound good or not get in the way of our time with God. It's kind of ridiculous, isn't it? I mean, if everyone is together for the same reason, why should we care how someone sounds when they sing, or if they pray out loud? We're all here for the same reason....to praise our Creator!
I know, I know, I feel kind of like a hypocrite when I say this, because I struggle with it too. It's something that I'm working on, and something that I'm willing to admit I struggle with.
So, here's a challenge for you--next time you go to church, or in your personal time with the Lord--don't think about how loud you're being when you sing or pray, just SING and PRAY! Praise our Father in Heaven who loves us, created us, and gave His life for us!

Prayer requests:
1) That I would be open to God's will
2) Prayers for the people of Nicaragua
3) For a revival! The world needs the Lord!

Never Underestimate my Jesus

So, I have been living in Managua for a little over a week now. Last week was a hard week, as I was pretty homesick the first couple of days, and Michelle (my supervisor, and the director of the school where I'm working) left the day after I got there. She's still not back yet, and I feel kind of lost with things at the school-how things work, etc.
Another thing that has been hard is learning Spanish. I'm not one of those people that just instantly learn something, especially a new language. I am finding that I understand and comprehend a lot more than I am able to respond. I have a really hard time coming up with the correct responses, so that is really frustrating!
The homesickness is a lot better though! Of course I miss my family, and fall time in Michigan, and all the normal things that I would be doing right now, but I'm feeling better about being here.
God has been revealing Himself to me in ways that I never thought possible. I am finding out SO much about myself. This has been an amazing week of soul searching and pleading with God to show me what to do.
Although it's been a struggle, I am adapting to Nicaraguan life-I'm eating lots of rice/beans, it's hot here (no AC!--count your blessings!), and I carry an umbrella with me wherever I go, as I never know when it will start to rain.
I haven't actually started working at the school yet, because Michelle is gone, and it's complicated for me to figure things out when no one else at Tesoros speaks English. She'll be back this Thursday, so I'm hoping to begin working at the school either Thurs. or Fri., which will be a good way to spend my afternoons.
I'm so thankful that I have all of you supporting me in prayer--I can definitely feel the prayers and I need them right now!
He's already revealing His plan to me--which is incredible to experience, and scary!
Please pray that the Lord will show me what to do with the experiences I encounter, that I will be a blessing, that I will be blessed by the people here, and that I will find complete peace in His plan.
Thanks for all your support, and I love each and every one of you!
Love,
Rachel

He is faithful, always faithful

You know what has been such a comfort to me in these past few weeks?
He hears us when we call!!
How amazing is that? The Creator of the Universe hears everything we say to Him!
Shortly after my last blog post, I was very frustrated with how my fundraising process was going. I felt like I had hit a cement wall in the process, and I had no idea how I was going to come up with the rest of the money. I started crying out to God, wondering if maybe, just maybe, He was trying to tell me something. Am I really supposed to be going to Nicaragua? Did He have some other plan for my life? I spent many hours of the night in tears, questioning whether I was hearing Him correctly, and listening for what He would reveal to me.
Well, guess what? He heard my cries! In about 2 weeks, I raised over half of my money!!!
I was so amazed, stunned, and humbled at the faithfulness of God and His people!
I know for sure that Nicaragua is where the Lord wants me, and this served as a definite reminder.
In my hours of doubt and fear, He showed me His neverending faithfulness to those that trust in Him.
"Your love O Lord, reaches to the heavens. Your faithfulness stretches to the skies." (Psalm 36:5)
I find that in my hardest times, I cling to Him the most. I think this is natural for most people. We tend to forget about God when things are going good, and you know why? We feel that there is nothing we need to ask for. We forget that we still need His grace every day to give us the kindness and love to show and tell others about His love. We need to praise Him in the good and the bad times, and we need to call on Him in the good and bad times. Although the praises and petitions that we bring to Him may change on a daily basis, the one thing that should remain constant in our prayers is that He will give us the grace to get through the day living the way He wants us to.
I've had my share of struggles and pain, as most have. I have hit rock bottom, and it is not a fun place to be. When I was at my lowest point, I felt that I didn't need God-I could handle my problems on my own. We were all created with a hole inside of us, a hole that only God can fill. If we don't fully rely on God to get us through each day, then there's something missing. We can't put anything else in that hole-drug addiction, alcoholism, abusive behavior, self injury, NOTHING. Only God belongs there, and when that hole is filled, our lives are complete.
We need not do anything else in our lives than live for Him alone.

If you would like to hear my testimony about how God has rescued me, I would LOVE to share it with you...just let me know! :)

Also, there are only 11 days before I leave, please pray that I will not be anxious, and that I will have safe travels there and not get too homesick!
Thanks!
Love,
Rachel